Flying Humor

[Flyboy]

[Vonrd]

This is old but still good:

• Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a (P); and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. 

———————————————————————-
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last …
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel, sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[Vonrd]

[Flyboy]

5 hours ago, Vonrd said:

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed

Now THIS is something I have seen many times (though not necessarily in the logbook like this). On walk around you see something dripping and the mechanic comes by with his rag, wipes it off and says “what leak?” Or they will say it’s in the allowed number of “drips per hour.”

[Vonrd]

43 minutes ago, Flyboy said:

the allowed number of “drips per hour.”

That's actually a thing. Often specified in the Maint. Manual. I don't know anyone who's actually stood there for an hour counting drips however...  

[Ludwig]

Beech 18 or DC-3...  if it is NOT dripping you are out of oil. 

[wheelsup_cavu]

12 hours ago, Ludwig said:

Beech 18 or DC-3...  if it is NOT dripping you are out of oil. 

Reminds me of the old saying, "Radials don't leak, they just mark their territory."

Wheels

[Flyboy]

[Barton]

On 12/16/2023 at 12:09 PM, Vonrd said:

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
 

Things I have actually seen, or similar to, as an aviation maintainer in the Navy. 

 Fun times.  

[Barton]

On 12/22/2023 at 12:35 AM, Ludwig said:

Beech 18 or DC-3...  if it is NOT dripping you are out of oil. 

F-14s.  

I had a Chief who bought an older Jaguar.  It was built the year before Ford bought them out.  He said the same about that car.  If it wasn't leaking, it was empty.  But he was proud to have a Jaguar that was actually a Jag and not just a Ford in fancy clothes.

[Flyboy]

A lot of memes going around from my pilot buddies. Though these are funny I'm still a Boeing guy and find it kind of sad Boeing's rep has gone down so much. Hope they get it together.

Btw, that's not "masking tape" - in aviation it's called speed tape! lol

 

 

[Vonrd]

OK Captain... good to go.

[wheelsup_cavu]

Couldn't find a dedicated humor thread but this could apply to just about any field including aviation.

 

Wheels

[Vonrd]

A Finnish PC-12

[Britchot]

SimWorks Studio released the PC-12 for MSFS 2020 and this is one of the skins.  

[Vonrd]

Here's a Partenavia (unfortunately crashed killing both crew)

[Vonrd]

Lots of good comments in the replies.

[wheelsup_cavu]

Amelia Earhart’s Long-Lost Plane Discovered On Auxiliary Runway At LaGuardia

NEW YORK—Calling the breakthrough a major step forward in the enigmatic case of the aviator’s disappearance, experts announced Tuesday they had discovered Amelia Earhart’s long-lost Lockheed 10-E Electra plane on an auxiliary runway at LaGuardia Airport. “Based on our analysis, it appears that during Earhart’s attempt to circumnavigate the globe, she continued past Howland Island, crossed over the Pacific Ocean, and then landed in Queens, New York,” said aeronautics expert Nick Dalton, who reportedly used advanced satellite imagery to find Earhart’s twin-engined, all-metal monoplane in a side lot just off LaGuardia’s main runway. “It wasn’t under a tarp or anything. We’d just never thought to check there. In our defense, there was a Southwest plane parked in front of it blocking the view.” Dalton also confirmed that the pilot had pinned a note to her plane’s windshield with a forwarding address in the Bronx.

https://www.theonion.com/amelia-earhart-s-long-lost-plane-discovered-on-auxiliar-1851221366

 

Wheels

[Flyboy]

[Vonrd]

Umm... It's disturbing that this just might be all too true...

[Britchot]

I can relate to this!

[Butzzell]

Special parking

[Vonrd]

Yeah, that'll hold it...

[Vonrd]

[Vonrd]

Maybe the Captain is into drifting as a hobby?

https://packaged-media.redd.it/592viukg6ylc1/pb/m2-res_360p.mp4?m=DASHPlaylist.mpd&v=1&e=1709427600&s=8fd310219b576dbf7bca34fe682e67bcc04a4b72#t=0